We often joke about how “BTO, ai mai?” is the most Singaporean way for couples to take their relationship to the next step. After all, buying a home together signifies a deeper commitment to one another that’s second only to marriage.
This was true for Ming and his partner, except for one difference: being a gay couple, they make up a small percentage of homeowners who are not recognised as a traditional family nucleus. This meant that they were ineligible from applying for a BTO flat together—until they were 35 years old—and they could only explore private properties and resale ECs.
Despite having to fight an uphill battle to have a space they could call home, they managed to beat all odds and became proud homeowners of a 1-bedroom condo at the young age of 27. Here’s their story of how they accomplished something that is but a pipe dream for many other LGBTQ+ Singaporeans.
@uchify.sg From ‘just friends’ to proud homeowners 🏠❤️ Ming and his partner navigated the tricky waters of buying their 1-bedder condo as a gay couple in Singapore. 🔗Link in bio for the full story🔗 Follow us on Telegram via the link in bio for more stories like this! #sghome #livinginsg #realestate #realestatesg #property #propertysg #home LGBTQ+
Didn’t want to “waste money” renting just to have a home
Every couple has their unique reasons for choosing to buy a home. Some have dreams of starting their own families, while others are hoping to get away from the watchful eyes of their parents. For Ming and his partner, the desire was straightforward—they wanted a space to truly call their own.
“We were spending a lot of time outside before we got our own place because it wasn’t convenient for us to hang out at either of our parents’ homes,” Ming told us.
Although renting an apartment could have been a quick fix, Ming and his partner viewed it as financially impractical. Instead, they saw purchasing their own home as a wise investment—a more permanent solution and a significant step towards solidifying their union. “It’s the closest thing we can get to marriage in Singapore,” he added.
Having to hide my relationship status in front of agents
Although acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community in Singapore has increased, it’s completely reasonable for individuals to feel hesitant about being openly expressive, particularly with strangers. Ming recalled an occasion when he had to hide his relationship from a property agent, pretending to be just friends because they were not comfortable sharing their relationship status with her.
Finding relatable advice was another hurdle. “There were not many first-hand accounts from LGBTQ+ homeowners about buying and owning homes in Singapore,” Ming noted. Consequently, he and his partner relied heavily on guidance from empathetic realtors.
A significant challenge was discussing his sexuality and relationship with his parents, which he hadn’t done before. Ming viewed buying a home as the right moment to share this part of his life. To ease into these conversations, their agents arranged separate viewings for each set of parents, avoiding what could have been an overwhelming situation.
“Thankfully they took it well enough, so I went ahead with the house purchase feeling supported by my family,” he said.
Having only $5K left in my bank after paying the down payment
With the seal of approval from their families and friends, Ming and his partner were ready to commit to buying their first home together. Their decisiveness also helped them secure the $734,000 purchase within 3 weeks of when they first started viewing condos. “We realised that our first home doesn’t have to be our forever home,” he said.
The couple had been working for several years, accumulating sufficient savings and CPF contributions to cover the initial down payment. However, Ming disclosed that after this payment, he was left with just $5,000 in his bank account. “It was quite risky in hindsight, especially if any emergency popped up,” he admitted.
To better manage their finances, they opted for a new condo that offered a Progressive Payment Scheme. This option was easier on their wallets as after the initial down payment, they didn’t need to start paying the mortgage until 6 months later, once the foundation was completed. The initial mortgage payments were about $100 per month, giving them time to rebuild their savings and CPF-OA funds.
Additionally, since the condo was new, it included major installations like flooring, kitchen cabinets, toilets, wardrobes, and air-conditioning, saving them significant renovation costs. They only needed to purchase essentials like lights, a bed, a dining table, and a couch, totalling around $15K for these and other miscellaneous items.
Getting a home together feels like the next stage in a relationship
With the hard part over, Ming and his partner could finally enjoy spending time together in their newfound personal space.
Before they got the keys to their home, the couple would often find themselves cafe-hopping or sitting at shopping malls just to spend time together. After moving into their condo, they found themselves staying in more often, appreciating the privacy and relaxation of their own space where they could “just chill.”
Owning a home has been more than just acquiring property for Ming; he expressed a sense of maturation and progression. “It feels like I’m properly adulting and moving into the next chapter of my life,” he said.
He also emphasised the importance of this accomplishment against the backdrop of societal challenges. “There are many restrictions on non-traditional families and LGBTQ+ individuals, so owning our home feels like we’ve achieved a milestone ahead of our peers,” he added.
Buying a home as an LGBTQ+ couple in Singapore
Since Ming first shared his homeownership journey 4 years ago after purchasing his home, numerous individuals and couples have reached out to express their gratitude for his openness. Additionally, inspired by his experience, he transitioned from over 5 years in the PR industry to a career in real estate. “It definitely feels good to show the community that it’s a possibility for us to explore alternative options to purchase a home before we turn 35,” he said.
For others who might feel inspired by Ming, he offers the following pieces of advice:
Start exploring & understanding the options available to you ASAP
One thing that Ming would’ve done differently when buying his first home was to have considered buying the property earlier━6 months earlier at the very least. “Even if finances don’t work out there and then, at least you know what you need to work towards and plan for your future,” he said.
There’s also the nitty gritty of home loan tenures and how you might not be able to get a full 30-year loan when you cross your 35th birthday.
Set aside 6-12 months of emergency funds
Ming having only $5K in his bank account after paying his downpayment was a risky move and not something that he recommends most people do. He recommends setting aside 6-12 months’ worth of emergency funds to ensure you’re not overleveraging on your purchase. “And this is me coming from a realtor’s perspective,” he said.
Ask your realtor & developers as many questions as you can
Not everything is listed on the brochures, and it might be best to just ask your realtor and the property developers as many questions as you can. “I’ve learnt from some of my clients that you should know where the lifts and bin chutes are to ensure you’re picking the right units,” Ming said.
You can follow Ming on his property journey or ask him any questions about homeownership over on Instagram at @thepropertyming.
- The 6 biggest regrets and complaints homeowners have about living in condos
- Why I’m ok spending $2,500 a month renting a duplex condo as a single
- Turning a 2-bedroom condo into a dreamy celestial hideaway for $85K
Photography by Nicole Ang.
This article was originally published on 27th July 2024, and updated on 18th November 2024.
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